~ ScreenShot ~

Screenshot status whatsapp...saya dan Mr.F...

Hehehehehe...tu je nak bagitau...mekaseh Mr.F sebab meniru status cikyaa...die kate status tu comel so die tiru...Ni haritu lagi...baru teringat nak update....

:)

~ GaLat ~

heLLo everibadi~~~~ eh eh...ade orang ke kan....hakhakhakhak~

banyak nyeee sawang yang melilau...lame cikyaa xmai ceq mai kan...hekhekhekhek ~

cikyaa busy..ngn praktikal...dengan malas bukk laptopnye...mcm2 la kan...tapi harini...sebab ade kisah...saje la update jugak....

sebelum tu...praktikal cikyaa mcm bese..anak2 pun makin manja....siap panggil "ummi" lagi kan...rase nak kawen...oooppsss~ !!

okey ceritanya begini....alkisahhhhhh~

semalam Mr.F mesej cikyaa..bagitahu die on the way ke perlis...cikyaa pun mcm..."WOW" kan....ingatkan kenape la die ke Perlis..rupenye sepupu die kawen...so die drive ke Perlis...dan die bertanyakan soklan cuper cemas kepada cikyaa.....

F: org otw ke Perlis...nnti nak singgah jumpe..liya nak x?

Y: errr....susahnye nak jawab soklan ni....tahu la parents org tu cmne...kene mintak izin dlu..

F: nnti org kol la...kol ayah ea? hehehe...

Y: ehhh jgn2...mcm bahaya je....alaaa..cmne ea....kang mule la org pikir satu malam cmni ni...sobsss...

F: hehehehe...saje jela...*driving*

so die pun x balas dah msej...sebb driving...dan cikyaa pun tetido sebb tahu die akan overnight driving...pagi buta terbangun tu tnye Mr.F dah sampai ke belum...dan die pun x balas...risau ade jugak tapi positif....cikyaa xlena tido..tebangun kol 12.30...kol 2.30...kol 3.45..kol 4.30...kol 5.15..sampai kol 6.30 bangun mandi....and kol 9 tadi baru die balas msej cikyaa bgthu die lost dan tido dalam kete je....but die dah berjaya reached tempat dituju la....dan bncg la sal isu jumpe tu lgi....

Y: die balik hari ni ke esok?

F: kite makan same lepas tu org balik la...kan?

Y: errrr...dapat ke makan same...? :(

F: kenape...rase2 xdapat ea?

Y: entahla...die cube la kol ibu....kot2 ibu bagi...nak jugak jumpe...dah alang2 awak ke sini...(terjujur)

F: oooooo...ade jugak la rase tu sebenarnye....hahahaha...gotcha ~

Y: ishhh...mano adoo...rase besalah je...lalalalalalala~

F: xpela...rasenye elok jumpe depan2 ngn parents liya and mintak izin...rasenye kite keluar dekat negeri sembilan nanti...boleh ea?

Y: hurmmm....susahnye la cmni...tpi awak mmg thu..dgn sy mmg susah nak kelua2..nanti awak x bosan ke dgn sy?

F: ishhh...apelak cmtu..banyak mase lagi..nanti dh kawen kan ngadap hari2...hehehe...

Y: ishh..die yang kate nak jumpe..org rase besalah la...depress ni....ikot la..mane2 je...

F: xyah nak over sgt la..ni org nak marah ni...pikir banyak kenapo...lagipun malas la nak jumpe liya...saje je pun...hahahaha...

Y: kurg ajaa..malas jumpe? hamboihh..cekik kang thu la...

and terus tukar topik laen...btw Mr.F...cikyaa tahu awak ckp cmtu sebb awak nak kurgkan rase bersalah saya....walaupun sy tahu awak mmg nak jumpe...untuk tengok org yg awak panggil gemuk tembam pendek sume ni...but thats the rule...permission untuk jumpe tu kene dpt dari parents...which kene tahan la...

but one thing...betul ke awak dah berubah? saya dapat rasakan bende tu...tapi pada masa same...perasaan takot tu menyelubungi diri sy dalam sgt....im touched with ur way...ur affection...im touched..really...but cikyaa takot kalau2 bnde ni temporary je dgn cikyaa...but i hope it will b forever...aminnn...

dan harini jugak seorang sedare meninggal...dan Mr.F bersama ahli keluarga yg kenduri ke Perlis td terpaksa balik ptg td jugak...so mmg hkmahnye mmg xsmpat nak jmpe la sbnrnye....so drive carefully ye Mr.F....

thanks Allah for this happiness...and hopefully it remains forever...amin..:)

maybe I will have my first love to be my last love of my life....aminn..:)

~ InDaH ~

Haaaa...setelah lame menghilang kan? Kihkihkih...minggu ni minggu yg busy untuk cikyaa..dn in fact..bulan ni...so minggu lepas pensyarah cikyaa dh dtg observe...lega la sikit...

So, apa yg indah kan? First of all...makin kite dekatkan diri dengan Allah untuk segalanya...kita akan lebih sedar semua yg ada adalah yg indah...

Ape lagi yg indah? Hehehehe... 'S. But N.A.'
Apekah itu kan...alhamdulillah..masih lagi hari ditemani dengan Mr.F. perlu ke nk senyum ea? Okey perlu la...okey finee...senyum sorang2...ehhh..ehhh...hahahahaha...

Mr.F tiba2 hari ni cakap..'liya bt konsep buang yg keruh ambil yg jernih..sy xlayak pun'...tetibe cikyaa sebak...mungkin die rse die terlalu jahat ke? Tp cikyaa xpenah menghukum die...everyday is too beautiful now...everyday he makes my day...dan pagi ni...tak sangka..setelah bertahun xbecakap..die kejut cikyaa subuh..im touched and suddenly i realised that i have been missing his voice damn much...the time was too long to expect this situation to happen..but it is happening...
Dan tu la reason kenapa cikyaa mengepost di blog hri ni...kehkehkeh...

Kitorg x declare pape..dan dh ade heart to heart talk...bagi mr.F..die xnak relationship but for now...we are more than friend..and he has the intention to make me as his wife but he does not want the relationship makes us control ourselves more and more...he does not want to feel too comfortable with the status so he chooses to maintain this way..he hopes i can wait for him to collect money for both of us...and i just smile..and i said in sha Allah...
For this..i would like to say thank u Allah..thank u to u...i tried to keep ur words and i pray for us...but honestly..i do not teach myself to hope too much...i just accept the situation and i am also ready if anything happen again in future...but hopefully we will end as what u are planning mr.F...

I will try to keep it safely and thanks for this...

Die screenshot untuk cikyaa :D
Thanks awak tuu..:)

~ RaNDom raNDom ~

Hye hye blog ku...miss me ? Kihkihkih..di tengah tengah pagi buta cikyaa mengupdate blog sambil membuang sawang2 yang ada di blog...xyah tnye..cikyaa mmg sehat...hehehe
So wat to write on..hurmmm hurmmmm....mari mulekan dengan students..
Kelas semalam cikyaa exhausted sgt...so untuk pertama kalinyee cikyaa masuk kelas duk diam tnpa celoteh....cikyaa x celoteh? Haaaa pelik gamaknyee..tapi itu la hakikatnyee...nsb baek one period lesson je...semalam cikyaa xngaja sebab duk siapkan action research...sesuke hti je xngaja kan? Hehehe...so msuk kelas lepas cuti seminggu...dn xngaja..dn senyap...membuatkan students sy xkeruan..dan xsemena mena..jejaka kachak aka pakwe kontrak 4 bulan itu berkerumun keliling cikyaa...soklan pertama...'ticer okey ke x ni?' N cikyaa jawab okey sepatah..then diorg bt keje laen..lepas tu mai lgi..'ticer..ticer muke stress ticer duk bt pa?' N cikyaa jawab..bt keje ckit..lepas tu dtg lgi..'ticer btul ke x belaja hri ni..mcm pelik ja?' Cikyaa jawab..ye btul..rehat je hri ni..pastu lame ckit..'ticer..sebenaqnya xbest la ticer diam cmni..selalu ticer duk hingaq smpai loceng bunyi..ticer xseronok ka jmpa kami?' Terus cikyaa ttup laptop n tongkat dagu...'sebenaqnya ticer letih ja.xdak marah pa pun' lepastu sembang ngn diorg smpai abes loceng bunyi..n mcm bese dorg duk maen tab ticer dorg siap bukak utube tnjuk lagu cinta...so cikyaa senyum la sorg2 belashing ade students sweet semua...mekaseh anak2 for making my day..everyday...oh ye..cikyaa siap ade grup wechat ngn students form 3...kahkahkah !

okey..cerita kedua..cuti...
Cuti xde ape yg bes..xsmpat nak jalan2..n cikyaa lepak rumah..bukak keje..tp xsiap2...yg penting..cikyaa pulun lepas gian memasak..beslaa..n ibu dh yakin bgi anak die masak ikan patin..cikyaa bangga riak takabur sume ade..hahaha...nauzubillah..maen2 aja...kihkihkih..durani as usual..masih lgi gedik manja santai...cuti ni jugak cikyaa telah sekaligus habiskan baucer buku...hanya untuk adik2 tercinta...punah harapan aku nk beli mcm2...siyes hancur bederai bile buku diorg semua tu bernilai 200 hengget...oh ye..cikyaa beli quran baru..dan ibu jeles die nak satu...so due quran baru..hehehe...semoga cikyaa masih konsisten wlupun busy skrg...

Okey..cerita ketiga...ibu..dan mr.F
Ibu tu mane sah hidup die nampak cikyaa xsebutbsal kawen...membongakkk bak kate oghang nogori...dan seperti dijangka..terbukak la isu mr.F secara berdua mase tu..so cikyaa malas nak ulas..tpi secara senangnyee...ibu pun entahla ea..die dah mcm terime pulak...tapi skrg ni..cikyaa n mr.F xde sentuh pape isu lgi...tpi at lis one thing from parents aspect xde isu dah...skrg mngkin jus between me and him..as for now..yea..he is always be with me..everyday...and i would say thank u mr.F for ur time although u r busy...but still..we have a hole in between...still we r friends..and i bet either u or me..both are not ready to touch anything yet...cume satu bende yg cikyaa risaukan...ibu mrF tu terlalu tinggi berharap sedangkan anaknye belum tentu setia...how would it be? Cikyaa tak pernah percaya..ataupun beharap...ape yg cikyaa buat sekarang hanya la follow the flow..and what the only thing i hope...u just need to trying damn hard to be u..the only u..so that the 'u' that u have found again will convince me for the situation that is going on...kepada acik aka ibu mr.F...walaupun terlalu awal untuk acik beli tanah and even dah beli pun..and plan for ur son and me..for our house..i hope acik realise that sometimes things do not come as we planned..kalau cikyaa cube lembutkan hati pun..tapi ur son dont really change himself..it will not happen..but for now..i can see him changing..its good for him..and i hope ianya berkekalan...dan for me..i will do my part..everyday praying..

For mr.F..hari ni awak xmsej saya..but i jus need to admit...jauh disudut hati sy..mmg sy ade rase rindu..sebab sy rase mcm mimpi..org lelaki yg sy first syg dlm hdup sy..ade semula dgn sy..after so many years being apart..how can i deny the feeling? But me myself is not being controlled by my heart..but my mind..although u r my first love..if..if..and only if..u spoiled this second chance..no more chance that u will get for the rest of ur life..because in my life..i believe that people deserved a second chance and it is what im giving u now..think and act smartly...:) 

Bye world...

~cuti vs students ~

Hari ni last day sebelum cuti..

Obviously i will miss my sweet romantic form 3 students...

While my friends are talking about being disturbed by male teachers...and getting many young male teachers...

But i am famous with issue that im in love with students...well my friends said..'its rare' but like they always said..'its a common thing for me to look weird'....

U know how blushing u are when u have a really sweet romantic students? Oh yea..i will be a wonderful girl to have more than one 'boyfriend' for these four months..

Its like u dont even care for not having a 'real bf' actually...when i go back from school...i started to miss them..even they have created a wechat group for me..this post referred both for male and female students..but obviously more towards male students...hehehehehehe...

It just great to have them welcoming me each time i enter their class...

Surrounding me each time i sit on the chair...

Checking my phone and asking about my things...

Feel jealous when i talk more to particular students...

Give me some small foods using their own money...

Running from the lab to their class just because it is my class that they will be having next..

Acting out with me when my lecturer was going to observe...

Notice that i am nervous while waiting for the lecturer...

Calming me down by giving me some jokes..

And...give me flower like i am being proposed...

Oh God..they are just form 3 students but i know i am being loved...

They remember what i wore yesterday...

They notice the eyeliner at the eyes...

They notice me exchanging shoes...

They notice u are wearing different colour of lip balm...

They notice my new bag...

They are damn observant and concern..arent they?

each time i have to teach their class..its like i am heading to someone that will hug me...

Each time i have to enter their class...its like i am walking to the people with lots of love...

And even each time i passed by their class and there is a teacher inside the class...they will b waving at me silently..g

Dan yg paling penting...

My boys are taller than me...aura 'bf' tu ade la ckit sebab kite rendah...

Kahkahkahkahkahkahkah...

So..now i am in a relationship with my students and it is official..yippiii~

~ God's Willing ~

Hye morning my dear blog....cikyaa tengah siapkan proposal tpi tibe2 cikyaa headache and nak menaip cnie...sorry la xberape nak tengok sgt blog...nnti cikyaa cuti seminggu tau...lagi la cikyaa lupe blog kejap...kihkihkihkih~

cikyaa malas nak bebel sal proposal tu...ni cikyaa nak citer sal anak kawan ibu cikyaa aka mr.F ni...

haritu die cntct cikyaa selang hari la jugak...sekarang kan..hari2 die contact which cikyaa dont even know die nak ape dan xnak tnye...sebb lau tnye mcm dh thu ape akan berlaku...so mencegah lebih baek dari mengubati..hakhakhak...

So die tegur la kat whatsapp...wadap wadap yaw..tpi die xdela tnye wadap cmtu...die mesti kaver sopan kan...cikyaa xtersentuh pun ngn sopan die tu...jahat cikyaa kan..tapi tu la..pengalaman mengajar...cikyaa macam xde nak hadap die sgt pun...kalau die anta balas la...lau die x anta cikyaa diam la..memang perangai cikyaa cmni pun..cikyaa prefer org tgur dlu...

Tapi kdg2 rase kejam...mungkin sebab die je selalu tegur cikyaa...tibe2 haritu die kate..

"Kalau rase nak tegur n anta chat..anta jela..boring2 ke anta je chat...lau free org balas la" 

Secara pendeknye die nak sruh cikyaa mulekan la conversation sekali sekala...kan? Xyah jawab takpe sebb mmg cmtu niat die...mungkin die rse xsedap die je kene tgur...but i just can say sorry...i cant make it...i prefer to only replying ur message rather than greeting u first...

Honestly i am awkward with the situation...after 5 years we were making our own path..how can u expect me to suddenly be as friendly as u want it to be...

And the most important thing...i dont even feel insecure with anything...u cheated on me several years ago and how can i give back my trust on u? 

Yea..maybe u think we can make it easy because u are the first guy in my life and i am the girl in ur life...but the fact u ever changed...and it might happen again rite?

how can i create a relationship when i feel insecure with u? Or is it because of ur mom? And u confident enough that u know me and my life..so u have no problem with that...maybe...but not for me..in fact although u have not started anything now...i have started to test u..because my opinion now is u cant stay longer being single...and let see how it goes..because if u have changed...u will fight for it...this is thr phase we are seeking for destiny not a temporary relationship...

But i am grateful that he has not touch anything on feeling so far...which i dont hope for it to happen within this short time...because if u dare to touch on relationship or feeling issue...i bet u are ready to bear the shoots..cause this time i will not allow it to happen easily...

2 times having a failure in a long relationship with two different persons..first for almost 3 years with mr.F and almost 4 years with mr.A..plus incapability to have someone that i really into...makes me tired of these things..cause i just stand tougher than before...it is just the matter of losing trust on people...im sorry...

So mr.F...gud luck in ur way to create a gud relationship with me and if u are my destiny that has been destined...in sha Allah im yours...=)

~ Panggilan ~

Hye n selamat petang blog..haaa...cikyaa dah bosan mengadap lesson plan n ape bnde2 ni..tibe2 cikyaa nak update tentang satu panggilan dengan my dearest mommy tadi...jommmm...

Y:assalamualaikum ibu...tongah buek apo?
I:kek tadika ni ha..siapkan makanan...napo tipon? 
Y:oh saje...ingt nak cakap ngn adik...tapi xpela..lupelak sanun weekend...
I:amboii..sampai lupo..pikir apo...
Y:xdo papo...ermm...ibu along nak tanyo..ibu ado jumpo kawan baek ibu tu ko baru2 ni?
I:napo? Tibo2 tnyo...xde pun...
Y:yeke? Sure?
I:napo?
Y:nape suddenly anak kawan baek ibu tu cntct along kt wasap?
I:oh..dio ckp apo yo? 
Y:xdo papo..tnyo kaba..and psal praktikal..and sembang2...2hari lopeh tu dio togo lgi kek wasap..and dio ckp kawan baek ibu tu sruh tnyo kaba...so anything ke ni?
I:kamu dah tebukak hati balik ke? Nak terime die balik?
y:along xde kate cmtu..jus wats happening? Nape tbe2 die cntct along...
I:hritu ibu jmpe kwn baek ibu tu kat kenduri..and kenduri kawen..dio ajak ibu tgok pelamin..ibu ckp la maleh nak pegi..pastu die ajak2..pegi la ikot die..and die tnye psal along skrg..ibu bgthu la along dh xde pape ngn si tutt tu skrg..pastu die ckp........
Y: ckp ape? 
I:die sruh ibu pujuk along...n die pujuk anak die...mungkin sebb tu bujang die tu cntct along kot...
Y:adoii ai..nape lak cmni...
I:ibu rsau die tu anak mak je...balik la dlu...klu die cntct layan mcm bese je..jgn mesra sgt dlu...balik umah dlu bru ckp psal bnde ni...kawan ibu tu beriye sgt...
Y:kisah kitorg lame sgt dh bu...putus dh betahun2 ..xkan die nak expect kitorg kawan balik cmtu je...
I: sebab tu la ibu kate layan mcm kawan dlu...tpi ibu ckp ibu xjnji pape sebb kputusan semua kt along...
Y:okey la..mgu depan cuti..see u next week...

Okey...panggilan yg bt cikyaa rase headache untuk smntara wktu smpai tetido..pastu boleh mimpi mamat tu anta wasap lak..mungek btul la..haihhh...huhuhuhu...

Kisahnye...dlu sebelum cikyaa dgn ex cikyaa...cikyaa ade bekawan ngn sorg mamat ni..dri msuk form 4...smpai almost 3 thun...mamat ni anak kawan baek ibu cikyaa...sekampung..n kitorg bnyk prsamaan...n mmg agak novel la care kitorg kenal..malas nak cter sebb dh lame sgt...nak pendekkan cerite..mamat ni brubah lepas msuk matrik..die kawan ngn gurl laen..pd mase yg same..ibu si mamat ni aka kawan baek ibu cikyaa..mmg nak cikyaa jdi menantu die..stu kg thu bnde tu..tpi bile anak die berubah aka curang la..kitorg break la..tp sebelum die msuk matrik..die mmg bgus sgt..anak sulung jugk..abg yg baek..anak yg baek..jus not a gud lover maybe...n lepas kitorg putus..die mmg kawan ngn rmai girls jugk...semua cikyaa thu..mklumlah..sekampung akak stalk fb..n cikyaa mmg ngn ex dlu tu jela..so bile sebelum ni..kawan baek ibu tu selalu tnye sal cikyaa tpi die xdpt nk kate pape sebb cikyaa msih lg dgn ex cikyaa...bile skrg cikyaa single..n kawan baek ibu tu rse hepi tahap gaban kot..so die sruh ibu cikyaa pujuk cikyaa untuk kawan ngn anak die balik...lepas putus kami mmg cntct as kawan lg...dn mmg every year akan wish besday each other...maklumlah due2 bulan september...skrg ni dh msuk tahun ke 5 kitorg lepas break...mesti la awkward kan? Dan how the mom expect me to trust her son again? So entahla..rse dilemma..tpi nsb baek si mamat tu x hntr chat hari2...setakat minggu lepas bru 2 kali die anta wasap...cikyaa harap die xkan tnye pape kt cikyaa berkenaan hal ni..sebb cikyaa mmg xnak pikir pape lg...huhuhuhu...tapi ibu mamat tu mmg baek..tu cikyaa tahu...really motherly person..cikyaa ngn mamat tu sebaya...so dri kami baby lg..ibu die dh pkir sal bnde ni...sebab die mmg besfren ngn ibu cikyaa...

The only question..perlu ke hubungan lama terjalin balik disebabkan parents? Ayuh la berbalik kepada Allah...:)